Evolution Of Man

Shadi k pehle : i love u
Shadi k baad : aaj phir alu?

Shadi k pehle : Hero no1
Shadi k baad: coolie no1

Shadi k pehle : mein ne piyar kiya
Shadi k baad : ye mein ne kiya kiya?

Shadi k pehle : janeman mut jao,
Shadi k baad : jaan mut khao

Shaadi k pehle : tum bin raha na jay
Shaadi k baad : tum ko saha na jay

Shadi k pehle : kuch to bolo
Shadi k baad : kabhi chup bhi ho jaya karo.

Shadi k pehle : tum kab aaogi?
Shadi k baad : mayke kab jaogi?

............ ......... ......... ........

Sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil main hoon meri bivi mujh say
aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay .....

Friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 500rs laiti hay.

............ ......... ......... ........

A sardar was running with his pregnant wife, who was about to deliver,
when another sardar asked him, "O pernam singh, oye moti nu ais haal
vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain,"

Pernam singh replied, "assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free
delivery hondi aaa."

............ ......... ......... .........

Fastest Thing In The World

University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common
question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; because thought is so fast it comes instantly in
your mind.

MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the
worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON
THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

BOLO TARA RA RA HOYE.....

Just A MOM

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office,
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is, " explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a ...?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.

"I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,"
Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed..

What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out..
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in mid air and
looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,
"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the human ties,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more
distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood!

What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and
Human Relations"
And great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates?"
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts

"Associate Research Assistants."

Please send this to another Mom,
Grandmother,
Aunt,
And other friends you know.

May your troubles be less,
Your blessing be more,
And nothing but happiness come through your door!

Different Thinking For TAJ MAHAL (HIDNi)

As a Bachelor

Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti

Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon

Lekin Mumtaz Nahi Milti!

 

As A Lover

Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti

Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon,

Mumtaz Mil Gayi Hai Magar

Woh Shaadi Nahi Karti

 

As A Married One

Takdir Hai, Magar Kismat Nahi Khulti

Tajmahal Banana Chahata Hoon

Lekin Mumtaz Nahi Marti

 

 

After 5 years of Marriage

Tajmahal Kya Cheez Hai,

Isse Badi Imarat Banaunga,

Mumtaz To Marke Dafan Hui Thi,

Tuzhe To Mein Zinda Dafnaunga

I Love This Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life;
is this true? !
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise.. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass
(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best! feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather
to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other
- body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO,
What a Ride'

AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Mix Jokes (Again Huge) (Hindi)

************ ********* ********* **

Hum hum hi, tum tum ho,

Na tum kam ho, na hum kam hai,

To kis baat ka gam hai, SMS bhejte raho,

Tabhi to lagega ki mobile me dam hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Ishwar kare har din...

Apki khushiya petrol ke bhav ki tarah bade,

Aur gam bipasha ke kapdo ki tarah kam ho,

Have a nice time.

************ ********* ********* **

Is 'Dil' mein dekho tasveer tumhaari hai,

In 'aakhon' main dekho tasveer tumhaari hai,

Jee rahe hai ab tak aapki marjee se,

Lekin yah maut 'amanat' tumhaari hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Is pathar ki duniya mein,

Aksar dil tut jaya karte hai...

Aakhen bhi sambhalkar band karna,

Mere dost palkon ke beech bhi,

Sapne tut jaya karte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Intzaar rahta hai har sham tera,

Raate katati hai le-lekar naam tera,

Muddat se baitha hu ye aas paale,

Kal aayega koi paigaam tera.

************ ********* ********* **

************ ********* ********* **

Ajab yah duniya hai, ajab yaha dastur hai...

Dil mein to base ho, magar aakhon se dur ho.

************ ********* ********* **

Apki chaal mor jaisi, awaaz koyal jaisi,

Dimaag lomdi jaisa, aakhen hiran jaisi,

Lekin kitna achha hota,

Agar 2-3 quality insano jaisi bhi hoti.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil diya aitbaar ki had thi,

Pyar kiya mere pyar ki had thi,

Mar gaya lekin khuli rahi aankhe,

Ye mere intzaar ki had thi.

************ ********* ********* **

Ek zara-si bhul khata ban gaye,

Dil liya aur khelkar tod diya,

Hamari jaan gaye unki ada ban gaye.

************ ********* ********* **

E Dost! jab bhi tu udaas hoga,

Mera khyaal tere paas hoga,

Dil ki gahraaiyon se jab bhi karoge yaad hame,

Tumhe hamare karib hone ka ahsaas hoga.

************ ********* ********* **

Baate karke bhula na dena, fasaane banake mita na dena,

Na de sako yaari to gam nahi,

Par dost bane ho to beech raaste mein chod na dena.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil do ek ko vo bhi kisi nek ko,

Yah parsaad nahi hai,

Jo baata jaaye har ek ko...samjhe!

************ ********* ********* **

Duriya bahut hai par itna samajh lo,

Ki paas rahkar bhi koi rishta khaas nahi hota,

Tum dil ke paas itne ho ki,

Duriyon ka ahsaas nahi hota.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil lagata nahi hai ab tumhare bina,

Khamosh-se rahne lage hai hum tumhare bina,

Jaldi laut aao ab yahi chah hai hamari,

Varna je na sakege hum tumhare bina.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil armaano se houseful hai,

Poore hoge ya nahi ye doubtful hai,

Is duniya mein har cheej wonderful hai,

Par khali haath jana ye kudrat ka rule hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Inkaar vo karte hai ikraar ke liye,

Nafrat bhi karte hai to pyar ke kiye,

Utni hi chaal chalte hai ishq karne wale,

Aakhon ko band karte hai deedar ke liye.

************ ********* ********* **

Aaj vo hamse kuch khafa lagte hai,

Khafa hoke kitne pyare hamare hamanva lagte hai,

Bas kya kahe aur hum unke baare mein,

Vo kabhi khuda to kabhi bewafa lagte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Aati hai yaad baar-baar tumhe kaise bhulaye hum,

Jis dil mein tumhaari yaad na ho,

Aisa dil kaha se laaye hum.

************ ********* ********* **

Apki yaad mein deewana-se phirte hai,

Ki aapka naam labo se hatata hi nahi,

Tamaam umar je sakege kaise,

Bin aapke ek lamha to katata hi nahi.

************ ********* ********* **

Bahut udaas hai zindagi thoda pyar kar lene do,

Yu roko na raaho ko meri thoda saath to chal lene do,

Chand lamhe hai in aakhon mein, un lamho mein jee lene do.

************ ********* ********* **

Yun Chup Se Na Raho

Yun chup say na raha karo,
Yun khamosh say jo ho jatay ho,
Dil ko weham sa ho jata hai,
Kaheen khfa to nahi ho,
Kaheen udaas to nahi ho,
Tum boltay achhay lagtay ho,
Tum dant,tay achhay lagtay ho,
Kabi shrarat say
Kabi gussay say
Tum hanstay achhay lagtay ho,
Tum boltay achhay lgtay ho...!!!

Mix Jokes (Hindi)

Yaad hai pehle hum kaha mile the...

Train ruki, khidki khuli,

Nazaron se nazare mili,

Aur aap ne kaha- Idli, Dosa, Vade, Sambhar, Chay...

************ ********* ********* **

Jab tumhe dekhu my dil starts flying,

Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying,

Jab tu dur jaaye I feel like crying,

Are! Itna mat chad I was just lying.

************ ********* ********* **

Galat nazaron se dekhoge to har jagah kharabi lagegi,

Aur sahi nazar se dekhoge to har sundar ladki

Tumhe bhabhi lagegi-Tumhara bhai!

************ ********* ********* **

Aisa dostana hamara, main kashti tu kinara,

Main dhanush tu teer, ,main matar tu paneer,

Main varsha tu baadal, main raajma tu chawal,

Main hot tu cool, main april tu fool.

************ ********* ********* **

Anhon ki aawaaz kuch hoti hai,

Aansuon ki aag kuch aur hoti hai,

Kaun chahata hai bichadna apno se

Vo to vakt ki maar hoti hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Prashan: Gabbar singh ne paida hone par

Apni maa se kya kaha?

Uttar: Maa! kitne aadmi the?

************ ********* ********* **

Sooraj se achha sitara koi nahi,

Jaisa hai rishta hamara koi nahi,

Chahe saari duniya mein dund lo,

Muj jaisa pyara aur aap jaisa aawara koi nahi.

************ ********* ********* **

Jab bhi kanjus ke liye oskar ka nomination aayega,

Tera bhi naam usme jaroor aayega,

Ye padkar do-char SMS hi kar de,

Varna shayad oskar bhi tu hi jeet jaayega!!

************ ********* ********* **

Ankhe matar, gaal tamatar, naak ho jaise bhindi,

Tu meri saheli hai ya koi sabji mandi.

************ ********* ********* **

Taazi hawa ka jhonka aaya,

Khushboo teri saath laya,

Fir mere dil ko khayal aaya,

Ki aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya.

************ ********* ********* **

Kaash life aisi hoti yaar, monday ko dosti,

Tuesday ko ekraar, wedsnesday ko pyar,

Thursday ko intazaar, friday ko shaadi,

Saturday ko talaak, sunday ko rest,

Monday ko next.

************ ********* ********* **

Mandir mein puja karta hu, mazjid mein namaaz padta hu,

Insaan se bhagwan na ban jana,

Isliye roz tumhe SMS karke ek paap karta hu.

************ ********* ********* **

Mere marne ke baad, jab mera janaza uski

gali se nikala, mere marne ke baad,

jab mera janaza uski gali se nikala wo

Khidki pe aayi boli, yaha saala bi tapak pada!!!

************ ********* ********* **

Main saawan hu tum baadal ho,

main normal hu tum pagal ho,

main paani hu tum tanki ho,

main tarzan hu tum monkey ho !!

************ ********* ********* **

Mohabbat ek baar ho jaye to apnapan,

Do baar ho jaye to bholapan,

Teen baar ho jaye to dewanapan,

Baar-Baar ho jaye to kaminapan.

************ ********* ********* **

Mix Jokes (HiNDi) (large coll.)

Phool aisa ho baag ko khushoo se bar de,

Hamsafar aisa ho jo andheron ko roshan kar de,

Dost aisa ho jo zindagi ko khushi eva mobile

Ko SMS se bhar de.

************ ********* ********* **

Takdeer ne chaha, takdeer ne bataya,

Takdeer ne tumko aur humko milaya,

Khushnaseeb the hum ya vo pal,

Jab tum-saa anmol dost is zindagi mein aaya.

************ ********* ********* **

Tum na maano yah hakikat hai,

`Dosti' insaan ki jarurat hai,

Kisi din aaoo mahfil mein,

Jaan jaaoge zindagi kitni khubsurat hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Ande ke haath mein `Torch', behare ke haath mein `Radio',

Gunge ke haath mein`Mike', bewakuf ke haath mein `Mobile'!

Kya zamana aa gaya hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Din ko chain nahi, raat ko aaram nahi,

Jee na lage kahi, ae khuda kya yahi pyar hai?

`Stupid' ye pyaar nahi summer ki garmi hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Jo tum chaho vo tumhara ho,

Roshan raate aur khoobsurat sawera ho,

Jaari rakhege hum duaaaon ka silsala,

ki kaamyab har manzil pe dost hamara ho...

************ ********* ********* **

Jaruri nahi dosti me mulakat hoti rahe,

Jaruri nahi ki baat hoti rahe,

par jo jaruri hai vo bas yahi,

ki dost ko meri dosti yaad aati rahe.

************ ********* ********* **

Jeevan me`safal' hone ke liye 3 factor jaroor lagao,

Pratham: brain mein eyes factor...

Dwitiya: jubaan mein sugar factor...

Trutiya: heart mein friendship factor...

************ ********* ********* **

koi ho baat na dil se lagana,

Agar apna samjho to hi batana,

Bhool ho humse, to samjhana,

samjho jo to hak jatana,

ki hai dosti to dil se nibhana.

************ ********* ********* **

phoolon se khoobsurat koi nahi,

Sagar se gahara koi nahi,

ab aapki kya taarif karu,

Dosti me aap jaisaa pyara koi nahi.

************ ********* ********* **

Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,

Tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,

Basti zindagi ki saas ho ltum,

Phir kaise na kahu?

"Kuch khas ho tum...?"

************ ********* ********* **

Suraj se kaho, Roshni dena chod de...

Chand se kaho, chamakna chod de...

Agar tum nahi aa saktey...

Apni yaadon se kaho,

Hame satana chod de.

************ ********* ********* **

Aye dil kisi ki yaad mein rona fizool hai,

Ansoon bade anmol hai inhe khona fizool hai,

Roh toh unke liye jo hum par nizaar hai,

Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Ishq-mohabbat to hazaro karte hai,

Gam-e-Judai se wo bhi darte hai,

hum na ishq karte hai, na mohabbat karte hai,

bas aap jaise doston pe marte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Is dil mein hamesha ek shor hota hai,

BIna tere SMS ke dil bor ho raha hai,

kahi aisa to nahi ek pyara-sa dost,

Mujhse bor ho raha hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Mix Jokes (HInDi)

Teacher : jawani aur Budhape mein farak batao?

Student: jawani mein mobile mein "Haseeno" ke number hote hain. aur
Budhape mein "hakeemo" ke

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

So ja agar neeend ager tujhe aati hai,

yahan toh haal bura hai,

har raat yuhin hi guzar jaati hai

Ab kya bataun tujhe ,

tere sote hi teri girlfriend mujhe hi phone lagaati hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Apne dil churaya Hum Khamosh rehe

Apne neend churayi ,Hum Khamosh rehe

Apne hansi churayi Hum khamosh rehe

But its to much yaar

CHAPPAL TO wapis karo meri

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,

Tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,

Basti zindagi ki saas ho ltum,

Phir kaise na kahu?

"Kuch khas ho tum...?"

************ ********* ********* **

Suraj se kaho, Roshni dena chod de...

Chand se kaho, chamakna chod de...

Agar tum nahi aa saktey...

Apni yaadon se kaho,

Hame satana chod de.

************ ********* ********* **

Aye dil kisi ki yaad mein rona fizool hai,

Ansoon bade anmol hai inhe khona fizool hai,

Roh toh unke liye jo hum par nizaar hai,

Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Ishq-mohabbat to hazaro karte hai,

Gam-e-Judai se wo bhi darte hai,

hum na ishq karte hai, na mohabbat karte hai,

bas aap jaise doston pe marte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Is dil mein hamesha ek shor hota hai,

BIna tere SMS ke dil bor ho raha hai,

kahi aisa to nahi ek pyara-sa dost,

Mujhse bor ho raha hai.

Children Innocence(ENGlisH)

TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl
across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in
handling children, hid his smile behind.

'That's a serious step,' he said. 'Have you thought it out completely?'

'Yes,' his young son answered. 'We can spend one week in my room and
the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I
get scared of the dark.'
'How about transportation?' the father asked.

'I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,' the little boy
answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, 'What about babies? When you're
married, you're liable to have babies, you know.'

'We've thought about that, too,' the little boy replied. 'We're not
going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on
it!'

WeeWeechu

One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee
was sitting by the side of the ocean.

It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, how about
playing Weeweechu".

"Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee.

"Oh c'mon baby, lets you and I play Weeweechu. I love you and it's a
perfect time," Huan Cho begged.

"But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me."

Jung Lee looked at Huan Cho and said, "Ok, we'll play Weeweechu".....

*

*

*

*

*

Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang..... "Weeweechu a melly
Christmas, Weeweechu a melly Christmas, Weeweechu a melly Christmas,
and a happy New Year."

Indian - American (ENGLISH)

An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighbourhood;

His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was
shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten
chickens around like mad. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to
himself.

Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.

The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.

When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into
a cup and drink it. "Must be an Indian custom," he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on
with other stuff.

The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his
gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow's big
fat butt.

Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.

"I'm sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot
stand your crazy Indian customs!" He yelled at the Indian .

The Indian looked confused and answered. "Sorry sir, I think you are
mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in
order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk,
and listen to bullshit.

Mix SMS Jokes (HINDI)

************ ********* ********* **

Ek aadmi ki biwi kho gayi, vo Ram ke mandir gaya,

Bhagwan ne kaha paas ke Hanuman mandir jao,

Meri bhi unhone dhundi thi.

************ ********* ********* **

Gunghat mein tujhe dekha to dewana hua,

Sangeet ka tarana hua, shama ka parwana hua,

Masti ka mastana hua, jaise hi tune gunghat

uthaya is duniya se mein rawana hua.

************ ********* ********* **

Pati daaru pi kar apni patni se kehta hai,

Darling, aaj kuch aisi baat karo

Ki mere kadam zameen par na tike...

Patni ne kaha kaho to faasi pe chada du.

************ ********* ********* **

Zaam kadwa hai magar,

itna bhi nahi ki piya na jaaye,

Zindagi mein dard hai,

Magar itna bhi nahi ki jiya naa jaaye,

Mana SMS par charges hai,

Magar itna bhi nahi ki kiya naa jaaye.

************ ********* ********* **

Jugal Hansraj aur Mayuri Cango,

Bus stop par khade the.

Bus aayi Mayuri gayi,

Magar Jugal nahi gaya-kyon?

Because Mayuri "Can Go".

************ ********* ********* **

Patni Chalisa (hindi)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

Cool Hilarious Jokes

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer 

and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in 

turn.

 

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. 

The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the 

glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."

 

The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in 

Dubai, the other in Canadaand I'm here in London.

 

When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember

the days when we drank together.

 

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

 

The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. 

He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.

 

One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars 

notice and fall silent.

 

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," 

I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere 

condolences on your great loss. "

 

The man  looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," 

he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .

 

" The only thing is 

I just quit drinking!!! ...

Installing Husband on Your PC.. (ENGLISH)

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system
performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NEWS
5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman

DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: i thought you loved me. html and try to
download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt
3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0
or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will
download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that
will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications
and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve
memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support
 

Funny SANTA Jokes (Hindi & English)

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"