Mix Jokes (Again Huge) (Hindi)

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Hum hum hi, tum tum ho,

Na tum kam ho, na hum kam hai,

To kis baat ka gam hai, SMS bhejte raho,

Tabhi to lagega ki mobile me dam hai.

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Ishwar kare har din...

Apki khushiya petrol ke bhav ki tarah bade,

Aur gam bipasha ke kapdo ki tarah kam ho,

Have a nice time.

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Is 'Dil' mein dekho tasveer tumhaari hai,

In 'aakhon' main dekho tasveer tumhaari hai,

Jee rahe hai ab tak aapki marjee se,

Lekin yah maut 'amanat' tumhaari hai.

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Is pathar ki duniya mein,

Aksar dil tut jaya karte hai...

Aakhen bhi sambhalkar band karna,

Mere dost palkon ke beech bhi,

Sapne tut jaya karte hai.

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Intzaar rahta hai har sham tera,

Raate katati hai le-lekar naam tera,

Muddat se baitha hu ye aas paale,

Kal aayega koi paigaam tera.

************ ********* ********* **

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Ajab yah duniya hai, ajab yaha dastur hai...

Dil mein to base ho, magar aakhon se dur ho.

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Apki chaal mor jaisi, awaaz koyal jaisi,

Dimaag lomdi jaisa, aakhen hiran jaisi,

Lekin kitna achha hota,

Agar 2-3 quality insano jaisi bhi hoti.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil diya aitbaar ki had thi,

Pyar kiya mere pyar ki had thi,

Mar gaya lekin khuli rahi aankhe,

Ye mere intzaar ki had thi.

************ ********* ********* **

Ek zara-si bhul khata ban gaye,

Dil liya aur khelkar tod diya,

Hamari jaan gaye unki ada ban gaye.

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E Dost! jab bhi tu udaas hoga,

Mera khyaal tere paas hoga,

Dil ki gahraaiyon se jab bhi karoge yaad hame,

Tumhe hamare karib hone ka ahsaas hoga.

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Baate karke bhula na dena, fasaane banake mita na dena,

Na de sako yaari to gam nahi,

Par dost bane ho to beech raaste mein chod na dena.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil do ek ko vo bhi kisi nek ko,

Yah parsaad nahi hai,

Jo baata jaaye har ek ko...samjhe!

************ ********* ********* **

Duriya bahut hai par itna samajh lo,

Ki paas rahkar bhi koi rishta khaas nahi hota,

Tum dil ke paas itne ho ki,

Duriyon ka ahsaas nahi hota.

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Dil lagata nahi hai ab tumhare bina,

Khamosh-se rahne lage hai hum tumhare bina,

Jaldi laut aao ab yahi chah hai hamari,

Varna je na sakege hum tumhare bina.

************ ********* ********* **

Dil armaano se houseful hai,

Poore hoge ya nahi ye doubtful hai,

Is duniya mein har cheej wonderful hai,

Par khali haath jana ye kudrat ka rule hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Inkaar vo karte hai ikraar ke liye,

Nafrat bhi karte hai to pyar ke kiye,

Utni hi chaal chalte hai ishq karne wale,

Aakhon ko band karte hai deedar ke liye.

************ ********* ********* **

Aaj vo hamse kuch khafa lagte hai,

Khafa hoke kitne pyare hamare hamanva lagte hai,

Bas kya kahe aur hum unke baare mein,

Vo kabhi khuda to kabhi bewafa lagte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Aati hai yaad baar-baar tumhe kaise bhulaye hum,

Jis dil mein tumhaari yaad na ho,

Aisa dil kaha se laaye hum.

************ ********* ********* **

Apki yaad mein deewana-se phirte hai,

Ki aapka naam labo se hatata hi nahi,

Tamaam umar je sakege kaise,

Bin aapke ek lamha to katata hi nahi.

************ ********* ********* **

Bahut udaas hai zindagi thoda pyar kar lene do,

Yu roko na raaho ko meri thoda saath to chal lene do,

Chand lamhe hai in aakhon mein, un lamho mein jee lene do.

************ ********* ********* **

Yun Chup Se Na Raho

Yun chup say na raha karo,
Yun khamosh say jo ho jatay ho,
Dil ko weham sa ho jata hai,
Kaheen khfa to nahi ho,
Kaheen udaas to nahi ho,
Tum boltay achhay lagtay ho,
Tum dant,tay achhay lagtay ho,
Kabi shrarat say
Kabi gussay say
Tum hanstay achhay lagtay ho,
Tum boltay achhay lgtay ho...!!!

Mix Jokes (Hindi)

Yaad hai pehle hum kaha mile the...

Train ruki, khidki khuli,

Nazaron se nazare mili,

Aur aap ne kaha- Idli, Dosa, Vade, Sambhar, Chay...

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Jab tumhe dekhu my dil starts flying,

Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying,

Jab tu dur jaaye I feel like crying,

Are! Itna mat chad I was just lying.

************ ********* ********* **

Galat nazaron se dekhoge to har jagah kharabi lagegi,

Aur sahi nazar se dekhoge to har sundar ladki

Tumhe bhabhi lagegi-Tumhara bhai!

************ ********* ********* **

Aisa dostana hamara, main kashti tu kinara,

Main dhanush tu teer, ,main matar tu paneer,

Main varsha tu baadal, main raajma tu chawal,

Main hot tu cool, main april tu fool.

************ ********* ********* **

Anhon ki aawaaz kuch hoti hai,

Aansuon ki aag kuch aur hoti hai,

Kaun chahata hai bichadna apno se

Vo to vakt ki maar hoti hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Prashan: Gabbar singh ne paida hone par

Apni maa se kya kaha?

Uttar: Maa! kitne aadmi the?

************ ********* ********* **

Sooraj se achha sitara koi nahi,

Jaisa hai rishta hamara koi nahi,

Chahe saari duniya mein dund lo,

Muj jaisa pyara aur aap jaisa aawara koi nahi.

************ ********* ********* **

Jab bhi kanjus ke liye oskar ka nomination aayega,

Tera bhi naam usme jaroor aayega,

Ye padkar do-char SMS hi kar de,

Varna shayad oskar bhi tu hi jeet jaayega!!

************ ********* ********* **

Ankhe matar, gaal tamatar, naak ho jaise bhindi,

Tu meri saheli hai ya koi sabji mandi.

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Taazi hawa ka jhonka aaya,

Khushboo teri saath laya,

Fir mere dil ko khayal aaya,

Ki aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya.

************ ********* ********* **

Kaash life aisi hoti yaar, monday ko dosti,

Tuesday ko ekraar, wedsnesday ko pyar,

Thursday ko intazaar, friday ko shaadi,

Saturday ko talaak, sunday ko rest,

Monday ko next.

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Mandir mein puja karta hu, mazjid mein namaaz padta hu,

Insaan se bhagwan na ban jana,

Isliye roz tumhe SMS karke ek paap karta hu.

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Mere marne ke baad, jab mera janaza uski

gali se nikala, mere marne ke baad,

jab mera janaza uski gali se nikala wo

Khidki pe aayi boli, yaha saala bi tapak pada!!!

************ ********* ********* **

Main saawan hu tum baadal ho,

main normal hu tum pagal ho,

main paani hu tum tanki ho,

main tarzan hu tum monkey ho !!

************ ********* ********* **

Mohabbat ek baar ho jaye to apnapan,

Do baar ho jaye to bholapan,

Teen baar ho jaye to dewanapan,

Baar-Baar ho jaye to kaminapan.

************ ********* ********* **

Mix Jokes (HiNDi) (large coll.)

Phool aisa ho baag ko khushoo se bar de,

Hamsafar aisa ho jo andheron ko roshan kar de,

Dost aisa ho jo zindagi ko khushi eva mobile

Ko SMS se bhar de.

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Takdeer ne chaha, takdeer ne bataya,

Takdeer ne tumko aur humko milaya,

Khushnaseeb the hum ya vo pal,

Jab tum-saa anmol dost is zindagi mein aaya.

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Tum na maano yah hakikat hai,

`Dosti' insaan ki jarurat hai,

Kisi din aaoo mahfil mein,

Jaan jaaoge zindagi kitni khubsurat hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Ande ke haath mein `Torch', behare ke haath mein `Radio',

Gunge ke haath mein`Mike', bewakuf ke haath mein `Mobile'!

Kya zamana aa gaya hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Din ko chain nahi, raat ko aaram nahi,

Jee na lage kahi, ae khuda kya yahi pyar hai?

`Stupid' ye pyaar nahi summer ki garmi hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Jo tum chaho vo tumhara ho,

Roshan raate aur khoobsurat sawera ho,

Jaari rakhege hum duaaaon ka silsala,

ki kaamyab har manzil pe dost hamara ho...

************ ********* ********* **

Jaruri nahi dosti me mulakat hoti rahe,

Jaruri nahi ki baat hoti rahe,

par jo jaruri hai vo bas yahi,

ki dost ko meri dosti yaad aati rahe.

************ ********* ********* **

Jeevan me`safal' hone ke liye 3 factor jaroor lagao,

Pratham: brain mein eyes factor...

Dwitiya: jubaan mein sugar factor...

Trutiya: heart mein friendship factor...

************ ********* ********* **

koi ho baat na dil se lagana,

Agar apna samjho to hi batana,

Bhool ho humse, to samjhana,

samjho jo to hak jatana,

ki hai dosti to dil se nibhana.

************ ********* ********* **

phoolon se khoobsurat koi nahi,

Sagar se gahara koi nahi,

ab aapki kya taarif karu,

Dosti me aap jaisaa pyara koi nahi.

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Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,

Tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,

Basti zindagi ki saas ho ltum,

Phir kaise na kahu?

"Kuch khas ho tum...?"

************ ********* ********* **

Suraj se kaho, Roshni dena chod de...

Chand se kaho, chamakna chod de...

Agar tum nahi aa saktey...

Apni yaadon se kaho,

Hame satana chod de.

************ ********* ********* **

Aye dil kisi ki yaad mein rona fizool hai,

Ansoon bade anmol hai inhe khona fizool hai,

Roh toh unke liye jo hum par nizaar hai,

Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Ishq-mohabbat to hazaro karte hai,

Gam-e-Judai se wo bhi darte hai,

hum na ishq karte hai, na mohabbat karte hai,

bas aap jaise doston pe marte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Is dil mein hamesha ek shor hota hai,

BIna tere SMS ke dil bor ho raha hai,

kahi aisa to nahi ek pyara-sa dost,

Mujhse bor ho raha hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Mix Jokes (HInDi)

Teacher : jawani aur Budhape mein farak batao?

Student: jawani mein mobile mein "Haseeno" ke number hote hain. aur
Budhape mein "hakeemo" ke

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

So ja agar neeend ager tujhe aati hai,

yahan toh haal bura hai,

har raat yuhin hi guzar jaati hai

Ab kya bataun tujhe ,

tere sote hi teri girlfriend mujhe hi phone lagaati hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Apne dil churaya Hum Khamosh rehe

Apne neend churayi ,Hum Khamosh rehe

Apne hansi churayi Hum khamosh rehe

But its to much yaar

CHAPPAL TO wapis karo meri

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Tarasti nazaron ki pyas ho tum,

Tadapte dil ki aas ho tum,

Basti zindagi ki saas ho ltum,

Phir kaise na kahu?

"Kuch khas ho tum...?"

************ ********* ********* **

Suraj se kaho, Roshni dena chod de...

Chand se kaho, chamakna chod de...

Agar tum nahi aa saktey...

Apni yaadon se kaho,

Hame satana chod de.

************ ********* ********* **

Aye dil kisi ki yaad mein rona fizool hai,

Ansoon bade anmol hai inhe khona fizool hai,

Roh toh unke liye jo hum par nizaar hai,

Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazaar hai...

************ ********* ********* **

Ishq-mohabbat to hazaro karte hai,

Gam-e-Judai se wo bhi darte hai,

hum na ishq karte hai, na mohabbat karte hai,

bas aap jaise doston pe marte hai.

************ ********* ********* **

Is dil mein hamesha ek shor hota hai,

BIna tere SMS ke dil bor ho raha hai,

kahi aisa to nahi ek pyara-sa dost,

Mujhse bor ho raha hai.

Mix SMS Jokes (HINDI)

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Ek aadmi ki biwi kho gayi, vo Ram ke mandir gaya,

Bhagwan ne kaha paas ke Hanuman mandir jao,

Meri bhi unhone dhundi thi.

************ ********* ********* **

Gunghat mein tujhe dekha to dewana hua,

Sangeet ka tarana hua, shama ka parwana hua,

Masti ka mastana hua, jaise hi tune gunghat

uthaya is duniya se mein rawana hua.

************ ********* ********* **

Pati daaru pi kar apni patni se kehta hai,

Darling, aaj kuch aisi baat karo

Ki mere kadam zameen par na tike...

Patni ne kaha kaho to faasi pe chada du.

************ ********* ********* **

Zaam kadwa hai magar,

itna bhi nahi ki piya na jaaye,

Zindagi mein dard hai,

Magar itna bhi nahi ki jiya naa jaaye,

Mana SMS par charges hai,

Magar itna bhi nahi ki kiya naa jaaye.

************ ********* ********* **

Jugal Hansraj aur Mayuri Cango,

Bus stop par khade the.

Bus aayi Mayuri gayi,

Magar Jugal nahi gaya-kyon?

Because Mayuri "Can Go".

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Patni Chalisa (hindi)

Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||

Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||

Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||

Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||

Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||

PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave..... || 6 ||

Funny SANTA Jokes (Hindi & English)

Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"
 

I think U r very careless!!! (Eng1ish + Hindi)

U come & leave things behind!!!!
See now what u have left??
U just came in my mind &
Left a smile on my face....

............ ......... ......... ...

God picked up a flower n dipped it in dew,
He lovingly touched it, & it turned into u.
And then he gifted it to me n said this friend is 4 u.


............ ......... ......... ....

Har shaks ko diwana bana deti hai dosti
Mili nazar to fasana bana deti hai dosti
Dil ke mariz ho to kar lo dosti
Har dil ko dhadakna sikha deti hai dosti


............ ......... ......... ....

Tumse hi Dosti, Tumhara hi Intezar,
Tumhare bina Dil rehta hai Bekarar,
Tumhari yeh Saadgi, Tumhara yeh Pyar,
Jeevan bhar na bhool payenge is Dosti ko Yaar...

Phir Bhi.....(HINDI)

Hum unki chhah main tadapkar rote hai,
aansoo hamare dikaye nahi dete hai,
unki yaadonmain ratbhar jagate hai,
aur dinka chain bhi khote hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyon samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... .....

Hum unki khushi ko apna samazate hai ,
aur unke gum main bhi to saath nibhate hai,
unki musibato ko khud zelate hai,
aur fir bhi muskurate hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyon samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... .......

Unke ha main main ha milana hamari majbori hoti hai,
kyon ki koi galatfehmi na ho iske liye ye zaroori hoti hai,
wo apne aapko hi sabkuch samazati hai,
aur hame apni ungaliyon pe nachati hai,
hum nachate bhi hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyon samazati hai ki.
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... .........

Dhoka to wo bhi deti hai humko,
magar fir bhi badnam hume hi karti hai,
dil to wo bhi dukhati hai humara,
magar fir bhi ilzam humko hi deti hai,
sub gile shikave bhulkar hum unko manate hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyon samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... .........

Muze to ab aisa lagata hai,
sari ladakiya yahi sochati hai,
hum maise bhi kio accha ho sakata hai,
kyo nahi wo apne dil se dekhati hai,
tumhare pyar ke khatir hum apna sab kuch lutate hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyo samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... ......... .

Bahot dukh hota hai,
bahot takalif bhi hoti hai,
kaise samazaye hum unko ki,
aankhen hamari bhi roti hai,
magar hum chupke chupke aansoo pi lete hai,
fir bhi wo aisa kyo samazati hai ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai,
............ ......... ......... .........

Sari ladakiya aisa na samze to accha hai,
pyar hum jo karte hai dilo jan se tum pe,
wo bhi utnahi saccha hai,

agar kisi ki galatfehami ka tum shikar ho,
to wo us ek ki burai hai,
kyon dosh deti ho tum ham sab ko,
humse tumhri kya ladai hai,
fir bhi......... ......... ......... .

tum ko jo chhahe tum karo,
tum ko jo chhahe tum kaho,
tumhe puri azadi hai,
mard aur aurat main beti baap aur bhai bahan
bhi to hote hai,
kya fir bhi tum kahogi ki,
sare mard ek jaise hote hai !

Mix SMS Jokes (Hindi N Engli$h)

1) Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children.
Conductor: yes, only if they are above 8.
Sardar: thank God I Have only 6 children.

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2) Lab pe Aati hai dua ban k tmana meri,
Dil karta he band karvadu sim teri.
noor dunia ka mere dam se ujala ho jaey,
Jo mujhe msg na kry uska rang kala ho jae.

****************************************************************************
***********************************

3) Dekh tere sansar ki halat kya ho gai bhagwan !
Kitna badal gaya insaan!
Na SMS Na koi miss-call, Na koi bhi call
Ham bhi hue hairan kitna Busy hua SHAITAN!

****************************************************************************
***********************************

4) GHAJINI Dekhne K Baad Ye Ehsas Hua Ki
Hum Bhi Aamir Khan Se Kuch Kum Nahi He

Hum Bibi Ki Sunte He Samajhte He
Aur 15Min Baad Bhul Jate He.

****************************************************************************
***********************************

5) HI Meri Jaan...
..

..

..

..

..

Nikal Rahi Hai..
Sardi aur Zukam Se..
Log Pata Nahi
Kya Kya
Samaj Lete Hai.

Ha.. Ha..

Imporatant Announcment

Dear Readers,

We are too happy to see our Blog progress, Thanks you to all.

We have also international readers of your favourite blog which are
unable to read HINDI, in blog archive if he likes a title that

may be in hindi, for helping our international Readers, from now on
all post we will also submit language of post, that may be hindi or
english.

Thanks,,,

with regards

CONTENTi BLOG TEAM................

Om Shanti Om ke Dilouge Student ke Style mein

Om shanti Om ka dialogue Students ke andaaz mein ...

Itni shiddat se maine paas hone ki koshish ki hai,,,,,

ki har teacher ne mujhe marks na dene ki saazish ki hai,,,,,

Agar tum kisi paper mein paas hona chahte ho,,,

to saari kaaynat tumhe usko paas karane me lag jati hai,,,,,,

Ye exams bhi apne hindi filmon ki tarah hote hain,,,,,

end tak sab kuch achha ho hi jata hai-HAPPYYYYS ENDINGGGGS......

aur agar aisa nahi hota,,,,,

toh exam abhi khatam nahi hua,
.
SUPPLEMENTARY abhi baaki hai mere dost................ ha ha ha.

"33 marks ki kimat,

tum kya jaano lecturer babu.....

har student ka khwaab hota hai....33 marks.