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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Cool Hilarious Jokes

A man walks into a bar in London and ordered 3-glasses of beer 
and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in 
turn.
 
When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more. 
The bartender asks him, "You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the 
glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time."
 
The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in 
Dubai, the other in Canadaand I'm here in London.
 
When they left home, we promised that we'll drink this way to remember
the days when we drank together.
 
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
 
The man became a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. 
He order 3-Beers and drinks them in turn.
 
One day, he came in and ordered only 2-Beers All the other regulars 
notice and fall silent.
 
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says," 
I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere 
condolences on your great loss. "
 
The man  looked confused for a moment, then he laughs .... "Oh, no," 
he, said, "Everyone's fine - both my brothers are alive" .
 
" The only thing is 
I just quit drinking!!! ...

Installing Husband on Your PC.. (ENGLISH)

A desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system
performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery
applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed
undesirable programs such as NEWS
5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix
these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Woman


DEAR DESPERATE Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment
Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: i thought you loved me. html and try to
download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt
3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0should
then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can
cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0
or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will
download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install
Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that
will eventually seize control of all your system
resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications
and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does
have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve
memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!

Tech Support
 

Funny SANTA Jokes (Hindi & English)


Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.


Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Sardar in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.


After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"